Transparency, Tolerance and Facebook – Open letter to Mark Zuckerberg

Facebookipo_letter

Next week I will attend Techcrunch Disrupt SF where Mark Zuckerberg will have a fireside talk and I am really excited.

I am a huge fan of Mark Zuckerberg. I read the Facebook Connect, the article about him in Time, watched several of his talks (including the one he made at Y Combinator) and read his IPO letter. I also met the first Chinese employee at Facebook,????????Harry??(weibo link) and one of my questions was "how was it to work with Mark" and he said "He is for sure very driven and passionate. A bit hard to follow. He is an idealist." And I like that, we need more people like this in the world and in position of influence.

So no need to say I have very deep faith in him and his values. Even though most people are very critical, most people -including some of my best friends- only see what media show of him, someone who make a lot of money though having access to your private info. But this is just a side effect of what facebook is.

What facebook is?
I guess it is different thing for different people: a tool to manage valuable contacts, a tool to share picture, a dating facilitator, a directory of any person you ever met….

For me Facebook is a tool to promote Tolerance.

How? Well, facebook is about transparency, making information about yourself accessible to the public or to a limited number of people. Information about who you are, what you like, who are your friends, what you do, what are you thinking of right now, what are you reading, where you have been, what have you seen…
Particularly with Timeline, it is an easy way for people to access your life.

Why is transparency a good thing?
Well like anything in life, there is a risk, people use the information you make available against you. Same risk than when you go out of your house, someone can pass by and kidnap you.
I believe in the good in people. If some people may try to make you harm, more people will be there to defend/protect you.

So it is good to be transparent about your life because it is how you educate people about tolerance. People who have an emotional connection with you, if they know you smoke pot or have a super high number of sexual partners, or you are gay, you are part of an extremist movement…anything that could be seen as offensive/unacceptable by anyone. If they know you, you are ne of their friends/family/colleagues and you are one of??them, the others…??then maybe they will think twice before judging what they were judging as inacceptable.

This is how gay rights progressed in the 70s in the US (yes I watched the movie Milk), simply by gays getting out of the closet and taking a chance in letting people around them being tolerant.
You can not blame someone to be intolerant if you didnt even gave them a chance to learn to accept your difference.

Difference is scary, ok? It is taking a risk. A risk to not understand or worse a risk to realize you have been wrong this whole time. Who like to be wrong? Not me, I hate it. But when you encounter difference you have to ask yourself, is this different way to live better or worse then mine? And you can only answer this question for yourself. I think this way is better for me, but probably for other people another way is better.

I am a big advocate that people know better what is good for them. They know better than anyone else.
Now they might miss the information. But in that case we just need to give them the information, teach them to be critical and let them choose for themselves. I dont think we should ever take decision for others (as long as they are responsible for themselves -this need to be defined, for instance I think under 16 you dont have enough life experience to be responsible for yourself).

Also tolerance is not to be taught only toward what we call "minorities": gay, woman, ethnies… We need to learn to be tolerance in 360 degrees, toward everyyone who is different from us:
– introvert / extrovert
– young / old
– men / women
– different cultures
– different social background
– different values

This is a topic I could talk about for hours, and I always love to get others opinions.

But to sum up:

Facebook??
= more information about people around you??
= possibility for you to see the difference between you and these people who know/like??
= learn to be tolerant??
= create a better world.

Someday I hope to discuss with Mark about these issues. I dont have a solution, neither do I have a way to make things better, but facebook help for sure and I am sure he has much more ideas. I would love to help execute them.

Posted in Being an entrepreneur, Being an event organizer, Tech, Values | Leave a comment

Your most precious connections and changing world

I haven’t write for a long time but thought I’ll share part of an email I wrote today:

I woke up this morning at 7am, like it rarely happen but when it happen it is usually when I have something on my mind that try to raise from subconscious to conscious and it is always an interesting discovering.
What it was this morning was a reminder of who are your most precious connections in life: not necessarily your parents, your childhood friends, people who make you laugh every day… it is the persons who put the bar higher for you and at the same are here to catch, pick you up if you miss the target.

I have two persons like this in my life and sometimes they are the hardest to deal with because I wrongly think “I am not good enough yet” when really what they meant is just ” You’re great but you have the potential to be even more awesome!”. I know it but it is tough… particularly when you are someone who difficultly admit you are wrong. Or at least relatively wrong. You can always find a world in which any actions is justifiable, but you are wrong for the world you want to reach.

 

The world is shared into a multitude of worlds. Each of us live in a different one, and we strive to find friends / partners with who we can finally share the same world, which is define by the value you share.

I regularly have this sentence coming back with one of my friend:

“Well this is how things works in my world by we live in two different worlds”.

What I mean is: you have to accept your friend won’t think or do the same. Best I can do is acknowledge that their world exist as well and they is as important/good as yours. But different worlds feat different persons. The world and the rules you follow are not the one everyone around you have to follow. Each of us should be able to choose for themselves.

The best you can do is stick to your world if you think it is the best one for you and inspire other to join it by their own will.

And if you think your world sucks but you are stuck, you have to realize you have the key to your own freedom, you can change world.

We are lucky enough -for the most of us – to live in a world where we can easily choose your immediate surrounding, particularly the people you surround yourself with, wether they are geographically close or one email away from you. They are the one who influence the world you live in.

So if you decide to change world, be prepare that it is not easy. But very possible and not that hard… it is like immigrating:
– you’ll be very ignorant of the new rules
– people of the new world will find you weird, will be surprise you don’t even know the basic
– you will look stupid and out of place.

But with time and the right support, you will adapt and start making it your own.

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My interview about start-up ecosystem in China – growVC podcast

I have been lucky enough to be interviewed on growVC podcast (podcast about global entrepreneurship and start-ups crowdsourcing).

Was pretty nervous because I have a hard time to position myself as an expert in anything, but I shared my experience organizing iWeekend in China since 2010 and my views on start-ups ecosystem in China.

Wether you agree or not, please feel free to leave me a comment~

My interview on growVC podcast:

 

What is growVC?

Grow Venture Community (Grow VC) is the first global, transparent, community-based??platform??dedicated to entrepreneurs and investors. ??Grow VC enables great ideas and great teams to get visibility with the right investing audience, funding and support earlier. Grow VC is more than crowd funding, it???s a nurturing ecosystem where entrepreneurs can connect with experts, funders, team members, new customers and partners to realize their ideas.??Grow VC can help startups companies secure initial funding of up to 1M USD.
Posted in Being an entrepreneur, Being an expat, Tech | 2 Comments

About grassrootsly.com

It is my start-up, I launched the website 2 weeks ago but thought about the idea about 2 years ago (it evolved a lot since).

Pitch: grassrootsly is a solution to connect Brands to offline local communities.

ex: Your are Nokia and you want to reach mobile developers to encourage them to develop app for Win platform.??

Grassrootsly can:
– Help you design a plan for an offline community building campaign
– If you already have a plan we can implement by helping you find, reach and??negotiate??with local communities leaders to endorse your Brand/product.
– We evaluate the quality of the communities you want to endorse and do the after campaign reporting (quality survey and metric based report).

Why would a Brand wants to do that?
I believe traditional marketing is dying, thanks to mobile internet we live in a more and more individual-centric world. ??We bring everything we need with us, we bring information with us. Before we needed a building (school, administration, bank) to obtain what we needed, individuals had to adapt. Now the world is adapting to individuals.
Because of that billboard, ads in magazine…. people ignore them completely, we block them, And even if we see them, we think "how does that relate to me?" It is not specifically targeting me.
Online marketing is more relevant because it is already much more segmented. Ads on your favorite cooking blog, you may notice it because it is for "cooking lovers", i am a cooking lover, so maybe I am interested. Facebook ads make it even more relevant, gmail ad read what you are talking about to serve you ads. Scary.
What is the next step? Emotional connection, word of mouth, a Friend who know what's your problem and offer you a solution. This is the future of advertisement: friends, people you trust and/or admire endorsing a product and recommending it to you.

People meet liked-minded people in offline communities: Toastmaster, hiking group, reading group, theater group, entrepreneurs' events… We are grouped offline around a same interest, we have the same needs…and naturally we exchange solution and best practices.

Now what if a community leader could use a product, likes it and promote it in his community? The ratio of adoption will be super high.
Tupperware style.

This is the marketing dream.

I want to help provide this solution.

Starting verticals: Tech, entrepreneurs, creatives.

Underlying Mission: Helps building offline communities.

I connect Brand to communities, takes a cut on the sponsorship. This is the way. The investors pitch. But why do I want to do that?

I believe offline community is a place where many people find happiness they lost in their busy life.

My personal story
At least it was the case for me. And i observed / heard that it was the case for many other fellow members of the different communities I joined.

I joined Toastmaster and find a place to grow myself and public speaking??ability??when my job was so unfulfilling and I felt I was learning nothing. Couples were coming to toastmaster together, parents were giving up family time to come to toastmaster. And every meeting was a real inspiration, learning experience. So I kept going.

I joined improvisation workshop when I felt bored and very unhappy with no real reason and I found a place where I laugh and meet very open minded people who like trying new things. Many of them told me improv changed their life. Saved them.

I joined iWeekend when I quitted my first job and I was not sure what was my path, my goal. And nothing makes me more happy than hearing participants saying "before I just had an idea, I had an idea for so long, but after iWeekend, I feel I am finally much more closer to realize it!".

Only in offline community do you find the emotional connection that bridge you with others, others that are finally like you. You may have several communities because we all have several identities, but each of them bring you something.

When a Toastmaster guy recommend me a book who inspire him to write his speech I loved, I read it.

When a fellow improvisor recommend me a show or TV show because it is funny, I watch it.

When a fellow iWeekender recommend me a web app to increase user retention on me homepage, I definitely check it out.

What offline communities have is passion. They are a hug of knowledge sharing.
What they don't have is (usually) is structure and funds. If someone could help on this side more people will be willing build their own community. That's were I want to play a part.

This is my idea, I will write more about the progress of it, but I am now at GMIC to collect feedbacks and build connections. If you have any opinion/feedbacks on grassrootsly, I will be very happy to hear them. It would help a lot.
Posted in Being an entrepreneur, Being an event organizer, Tech, Values | 1 Comment

Is it right to make money from ignorance? AKA. how it took me 4h to set up my free email account from my domain…

I finally got myself a website (www.grassrootsly.com), decided to use weebly which is a great website design and hosting platform for non developers. There is a small learning curve but all in all very easy to use.

 

For the more advance ideas of my ideal website I have, I choose to use??http://mockupbuilder.com/, which is a free and also very simple to use mockup tool. The traditional balsamiq, gomockingbird… where all pay plan and evolus pencil is for Firefox while I use chrome.??

 

The most difficult part arrived when I decided to make business cards and so to create emails. I read online that it was free if you buy a domain name, which seems normal. But not a word about it on godaddy, they make you believe you only have right for 1 free email and need to pay for all extra one.
I check my hosting provider (weebly) which had a very clear explanation that mails had to be set with Google app and the domain seller. I did all what needed to be done on Google app panel and still I couldn’t receive any email, always receive the error 505 or something.

 

I was that close to give up and just go with the 1 free email from godaddy when one friend confirm to me that it is free and easy to set up, I just have to find on godaddy how to enable google app.

 

So i typed in google “enable google app in godaddy” and here it was, what I was looking for for a whole afternoon:??

Update your MX records to use Gmail for your domain -??Go Daddy

And it took 2 sec.
Now everything works fine.

 

But it got me thinking… ok you can provide a paid service to make people save time, make them not need to teach themselves extra skills, ensure a guarantee and after services…but how honest is it to charge people for something that would take them 20 min top with clear explanation?
How much different is it from the Chinese market sellers who sell the same good 30 RMB to locals who know the real prices and 300 RMB to tourists?

 

Not much according to me…

 

I really believe we can all bring value by putting transparency everywhere there is none.
Update from 3/8/2014: Setting up my email for maakthon.org, and I am so disappointed in Weebly right now to charge user 3$/user/month (whattheheck!!!) to help you set up your email. Here is the tutorial to do it for free for Google app.
So disappointed…
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Looking up and seeing the star

I know it can feel safe to have a roof above your head, but I prefer to look up and see the infinity of possibilities, feeling free and seeing the stars… I am an entrepreneur.

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The Walking Depressed aka. Creative Mind stuck in a World of Conformity

I always thought that Entrepreneurs were people more sensitive than average, because you have to be idealistic, you have to keep faith that the world deserve to be better to keep fighting everyday when you could choose to have a easy life (metro/boulot/dodo, in English subway/work/sleep).

 

You have to be emotional. But you also have to learn to control these emotion. You have to be creative. And you have to learn to adapt to others, to the current unperfect world.

 

Because of that, I believe depression is a condition much more well-spread in the Entrepreneur world. I have several exemple around me, and talking with more and more entrepreneurs, self description that always come back are:

  • “Feeling different”
  • “Having very high highs and very low lows”
  • “Being able of huge blow of energy, but not being able to control it, control when it happen”.
  • “Feeling lost”.

 

So when my very good friend forwarded me the blog post below, entitled “The Walking Depressed”, I thought of recommending it to many of my entrepreneur-friends^^

 

And by looking into the original blog, I found so many pieces that really talked to me. Maybe you too will recognize yourself, or a friend of yours. This is the beauty of internet, it allow us to break taboos.

 

Too many people feel different but don’t speak out because of what others would think.

To many people condemned the ones who are not conform to what they are supposed to be.

We have to stop being so stupids.

  • a no-guilt-no-pressure friend Learn how to be a good friend. Even though I have been on the other side so many time, I still often make the mistake of blaming others for my own expectations.

The Walking Depressed

This is a repost from Alison Gresik’s blog (http://www.gresik.ca/) on an art committed life. I found it compelling, and describes so aptly my days before major depression that I would like to share it with my readers here, so they too, might avoid clinical depression.

Let’s play a little word association.

When I say someone is DEPRESSED, what comes to mind?

How about: Gloomy unshowered schmuck. Stuck and unmotivated. Unable to work. A drag to be around. Broken. Victim. Complainer. Crying all the time. Never leaving the house.

That’s the stereotype, isn’t it? And there’s some truth there. Allie at Hyperbole and a Half draws a vivid picture of this kind of depression.

But depression has many different faces and manifestations.

I was one of the walking depressed. Some of my clients are too.

We don’t collapse and stay in bed all day. We keep working, keep writing, keep looking after our families. Keep blogging and tweeting and going out with friends.Keep taking our car to the service station. We just do it all while being profoundly unhappy.

Because we’re strong-willed creatives. We are so strong that we endure unendurable situations far longer than we should. We are deeply committed and we want to do our best for others.

Jen Lee has coined the term Dutiful Creatives to describe those of us who are inclined to take care of our responsibilities before anything else.

“If life were a meal, you’d consider your creativity as the dessert, and always strive to eat your vegetables first. Pacing and knowing how to say No are your strengths, but your creativity is more essential to your well-being than you realize.” from Jen Lee’s Quiz: What Kind of Creative Are You

Too many years of denying ourselves the pleasures of our creative pursuits and it’s no wonder we blunder into sadness.

10 Signs of Walking Depression

“I once read that succumbing to depression doesn’t mean you are weak, but that you have been trying to be strong for too long, which is maybe a form of denial. So much of life happens somewhere in between being okay and complete breakdown that’s where many of us live, and doing so requires strength.” ~ novelist Matthew Quick

Walking depression can be hard to recognize because it doesn’t fit the stereotype. But it’s just as dangerous to our well-being when left unacknowledged.

This list isn’t meant to be an exhaustive diagnostic. But these are some of the signs I’ve observed in myself and those I’ve coached:

Nothing is fun.You root around for something to look forward to and come up empty.

You can’t find flow. Working on your creative projects feels like a grind, but you keep plodding away. There is research that shows that neuroticism (the tendency toward negative moods) is associated with lower rates of flow.

Your energy is low.Maybe you’re not getting enough rest because you’re too anxious to sleep, or you’re trying to cram too many tasks into a day, or you’re punishing yourself by staying up. Whatever the reason, you are effin’ tired.

You feel worse in the morning and better at night.I remember explaining this to a friend, who found it mystifying. In the morning I felt the crushing weight of all the things I had to do that day. In the evening I was temporarily free from expectations and could enjoy a moment’s respite.

You have simmering resentment toward the people you’re helping.Sure, you’re still doing what everybody asks of you, but you stew in anger the whole time.

Your self-talk gets caustic.You say nasty things in an effort to shock yourself into action. You use shame as a motivator.

You feel distanced from people around you.It’s hard to have genuine, intimate conversations because you have to keep up this front that you are alright.

You deprive yourself of creative work time(the artist as sadomasochist). This helps you exert some control and stirs up feelings of suffering that are perversely pleasurable. Also, taking on new projects that prevent you from writing or making art lets you prove to yourself that you’re still strong and capable.

You notice a significant mood change when you have caffeine or alcohol.A cup of coffee might make you feel a lot more revved-up and optimistic. A glass of wine might make you feel really mellow and even ~ gasp! ~ happy. (That’s how I finally realized that I was depressed.)

You feel like you’re wasting your life.Strong-willed creatives have a high sensitivity to the inherent meaning in what we do. Creativity coach Eric Maisel calls this our “existential intelligence.”If our daily activities don’t carry enough significance ~ if they don’t feel like a worthwhile use of our talents and passions ~ then soon we are asking ourselves, “What’s the point? Why should I keep going?”

Why is it hard to admit that you have walking depression?

You may recognize many of these signs in your life but still be slow to admit that you are depressed. Why is that?

Because it feels presumptuous to put yourself in that category when you’re still getting by.You feel like it would be insulting to those who are much worse off than you.

Because your pride and your identity take a hit. You have to admit vulnerability and allow that you are not the all-conquering superwoman you thought you were.

Because you realize that you and your life need to change, which feels like more work piled on your plate.

Because you are admitting your own responsibility for your unhappiness and that can trigger self-judgment.

Because you might uncover grief or anger at those around you for not seeing and taking better care of you.

What to do, what to do?

I’m going to write another post about how creatives heal from walking depression, but so as not to leave you in the lurch, here are a few ideas:

Important: If you are in dire straits, please contact your doctor or visit the International Suicide Prevention Wiki to find a hotline near you.

Are you surprised that I work with depressed creatives?

Some people wouldn’t want to touch them with a ten-foot pole (see stereotype above).

But I have a tender heart for people who find themselves in this place. I know ~ God, I know! ~ what it feels like. And I know how to find the path out. I can sit with deep sorrow and speak hope. I can come alongside and walk with you towards happiness. This is what Enter the Labyrinth is all about.

Of course, coaching is not therapy, and my clients have other professionals who help them deal directly with their depression. I believe that therapy is awesome for artists and I highly recommend it.

But coaching can be an invaluable part of the recovery process.A creativity coach gets your artistic needs and identity in a way a doctor or therapist might not.One of my clients had a doctor who suggested she just do writing as a hobby so she could stay in her draining government job. I had a well-meaning therapist tell me the same thing. But a creativity coach knows that there comes a time when 15 minutes a day doesn’t cut it anymore.

Let me know in the comments: do these signs ring true for you? Have you ever been depressed and kept on walking?

Photo credit:Oleg Sidorenko

[Have you ever been depressed and kept on walking? Don’t ignore the signs]

Posted in Being a woman, Being an entrepreneur, Uncategorized | Leave a comment

Life is about coping with loneliness, building Connections. Not about Love.

Connections

What makes “people” happy?

I understand a long time ago that life is not about fame or money. I read delivering happiness and it clearified it for me even more.

I had this kind of discussions way too often already with young entrepreneurs or investment bankers:

me: Why do you do your start-up/investment?

him: I don’t know, to get rich, be recognized.

me: Why do you need the money?

him: To be free to do what I want to be happy.

me: What makes you happy for instance.

him: Buying a house for my mom.

me: what else?

him: Playing guitar.

me: Why don’t you try to make money by playing guitar, you dont need to wait 20 years to be happy.

him: you are naive.

I think it is sad that our society is crushing such young minds into thinking they have no other choice than giving up their dream to be happy. 

 

Life is about being happy, but makes us happy?

Having our needs fulfilled from the bottom of Maslow Pyramide to the top.

Maslows_pyramide

Truth is when you fulfill one level of need consistently, you are happy..only for a certain while. Then you need to fulfill the next step in order to reach the next level of happiness.

Or you can learn to be satisfied and grateful for what you already have and not ask for more (ex: buddhist monk).

Most people just have physiological, safety and belonging needs fulfill and are happy their whole life.

When it comes to physiological needs, you have different way to fulfill them, do what you are passionated about but earn probably just the strick minimum. But again, who cares? Because you are happy in the process 🙂

Or you can listen to our consumerist society and believe earning just the minimum is not enough, because you need the Nike shoes, the Luis Vutton bags and the iPhone 4. Then you sacrifice your day to day happiness for conusmerism happiness (see: Hong Kong, the heaven of consumerism!). This is fine too, who am I to judge what kind of happiness feat you better?

 

My own Happiness

I felt I was so unhappy last year, but couldn’t understand why.

Physiological need – ok.

Security need – ok.

Belonging – ok I guess

Esteem, Self actualization – not so ok.

The worst when you feel unhappy is to not know WHY you are unhappy. Then you start feeling guilty of being unhappy, you think about people in war country, people who don’t have food everyday and you think: “Carole you suck, you are so blessed, why can’t you just be normal and happy???”

I thought maybe it is because I’ve been single for a long time. My boss told me to find a bf (yes they do that in China), my colleagues, my parents all told me that it was probably the reason why I was depressed.

But I understood later it was just because I felt lonely. Loneliness has several different aspects. You can be surrounded by people who love you and that you love and still feel lonely. You can be married and sleep in a shared bed every nigth and still feel lonely (beginning of Eat Pray Love movie). I think this feeling is worse than being single.

Loneliness is not sharing your fears. When you share them you realize you are not alone after all.

My first step of feeling better last year was to find someone I could trust and rely on among my friends, tell her everything and spend sometimes with her, not worrying about the future. And it work for the first step.

My second step was to face my fear (at that time fear of failure professional) and to accept that trying and failing was better than remaining in this tetanized state of helplessness.

Once I accepted the possibility of failure, I felt better instantly.

Making your friends multidimensional

It is hard in nowaday fast-paced society and big city to know who are the friends who will be there for you and you can talk to. It seems that our daily interaction is about uni-dimensional give-and-take (I really start thinking about multi-dimensional friednship last year after a comment on this blog), and when you suddely don’t have anyting to give.. who are the one you can still take from?

Also even when you knwo your friend on enough different levels to know they can help you if:

  • you need money
  • you need to talk to someone
  • you need to share your worries about your work…

Anytime you want to add a new dimension to your friendship (maybe this friend can also give me relationship advices?) you take the risk to realize you are not compatible on this topic. You take the risk to open up, be vulnerable and the other person do not get you. It is very scary.

Hahns about loneliness

Later I shared this feeling with my long-time lost friend Hahns, and that all this time I missed him because there is many deep level thinking I feel only him will get. Effectivelly he got me immediately and even had a re-insuring answer to this fear. He shared with me a very interesting vision of the world:

[…] and on ur point of loneliness…
i like to use the example of being on the same bus together, on the same road, going the same way…
your friends are “with” u in this sense, but really u have ur own seat and perspective that no one else can share with u…
at any given moment in time, ur eyes are focused on something out the window…
not everyone is looking at what ur looking at, and even those who are will not have the same angle or find it as profound…
this really is what makes us unique individuals… so we are thankful…
but we are at times left feeling like we can’t share the wonders of the trip fully with the ppl we care about…
that’s really what loneliness is… and it’s not such a terrible thing when u stop to think about it…
at least we have the hope that at some point during the long and strange trip, u’ll have the opportunity to share with ur friends the things u saw…
and when u hear from them about the things that u missed, u appreciate that the trade-off to “loneliness” is a broader vision of life’s road and its wonders…
and so u realize u really weren’t alone after all~[…]

I realized I haven’t mentionned the above picture “Connections, loves and Love” at all, but it ispeak for itself and I will publish a follow-up post soon.

Rather leave you with this reflexion on loneliness 🙂

Posted in Being a woman, Being an expat, Values | Tagged , , | 1 Comment

a framework to understand loves and Love

Loves_love

About “True love”.

My friend Hahns once told me there was no such thing as fake and true love their is just love and it is unconditional. It makes sense. There is no fake love, just love. About the unconditional thing i wonder, if a mother loves his son but he become a serial killer, really? Does she keep loving him? Is there no case of parent who stopped loving their children? Just because they didn’t deserve their love anymore? But then I kept thinking and realize, Hahns was right, love is unconditional, a parent will always keep loving their child, it is their job, what they are made for. But they might stop expressing their love, for one reason or another. For many bad parents, it is just because their are selfish and start giving priority to the love they have to themselves over the love they have to their children. For serial killers’ parents, they will stop talking to them, cut them out of their life, because they need to cope, they also need to teach to their children,not everything is acceptable. But love remain, I am sure of that.

Love = right person + right timing.

My sister Selina also taught me a valuable lesson once. 2 lessons even. 
1) Love is not about what you feel for him but about what this person make you feel about yourself.
2) There is not such thing as “the One”. There is a right person for you at a right time. But as time pass and you evolve, the right person for you can not remain the same. Unless you evolve together in the same direction.

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I’m Still Here – Joaquin Phoenix Using His Life to make a Study Case

220px-im_still_here_poster

I watched I’m Still Here this week, it was quite random, just found it at my place, dont remember buying it, maybe a AIrBnB guest left it. I love Joaquin Phoenix since The Village – the most beautiful love story ever.


So watched it and was quite upset at our society, same feeling I got after I watched KONY2012.

I don’t understand why people focus so much about “is it an hoax or not”? It doesn’t matter because the problem they are pointing at are reals.

 

I’m Still Here is a documentary so it is not very entertaining, don’t watch it to have a good time, watch it because you are curious of Human Nature and Societies.

If you want to be entertained and get the point, watch Black mirror episode one and two. It is a satyre of how our society is control by media and the media/entertainment industry. It is brillant, shockingly brilliant.

 

What make I’m Still Here very powerful is that, Joachim used his real life to show use how we – audience, fans…- can be cruel toward this people we raised up as our stars. He sacrificed 2 years of his carreer to transparently show us what it is to work in the “showbiz” all the wrong doing.

And no-one cared. People only talked about “is it an hoax or not”.

I can’t believe we live in a society where people on top, people who entertain us and take responsibility for us -the mass- I am worried that these leaders don’t have a stronger support system. This is why so many stars kill themselves.

 

If you want to break free from your golden cage…People who loved you, look at you with contempt as soon as you try to be different. Misunderstanding, untolerance when I think we can try harder to be supportive of someone who just try to find happiness.

We are scaredof what is different. We are scared of thing we don’t understand, and we don’t understand people who don’t think and do the same we do.

Our current system is building intolerance, I think it is more than time to improve it.

 

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The toughest part of I’m Still Here – Joachim Phoenix at Letterman Saturday Night Live

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My favorite quote from Casey Affleck Interview a few days after the Premiere:

Ebert: I assume you and Joaquin didn’t go through this long period of time for frivolous reasons. What was your larger purpose? Your philosophy, dare I say? Joaquin’s?

Affleck: To tell a story. To make a movie. Isn’t it the job of the director to figure out the best way to tell the story they have to tell? This was the best way I could think of to tell this story, about this character. It’s a movie about a famous actor who has been acting for a long time and who wants to change paths, to change his life, to peruse a career in music. But he makes mistakes and the world is unforgiving. Things go wrong. He can’t recover. He digs himself deeper and deeper.

There are ideas in the film that are interesting to me. I don’t have a point to make, though. If it feels like a cautionary tale, what would be the warning? When you have a dream and others tell you, you are no good, give it up? Don’t become famous? Prepare, practice and use stepping stones? Or maybe don’t be incredibly mean to those around you? Some things seems too obvious, some seem lacking. I don’t know the point. I only know that it is of course in some way about celebrity culture. Its about fame, in some way. I don’t know what it says exactly but I know that it makes me wonder when I watch it. I’m OK with that.

All cultures are different. Some commit genocide. Some are uniquely peaceful. Some frequent bathhouses in groups. Some don’t show each other the soles of their shoes or like pictures taken of them. Some have enormous hunting festivals or annual stretches when nobody speaks. Some don’t use electricity. We obsess about celebrities. We create them, build myths around them, and then hunt them and destroy them. I don’t know where its taking us or what it means but I know we do it. I have seen a lot of it myself.

[…]

Ebert: My review of the film expressed concern that Joaquin might be self-destructing. Not many reviews expressed much concern. Even those who thought the film was or might be true didn’t seem to care much about the human being. Has the celeb culture vulgarized us so much that stars are now regarded simply as objects?

Affleck: It seems so. Your review was unique. I appreciated it.

Source: http://blogs.suntimes.com/ebert/2010/09/casey_affleck_levels_about_im.html

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A few article about the movie:

Joachim move has been compared to Andy Kauffman.

(Sept. 6, 2010) Times article reporting the Premiere

(Sept 18 2010) Casey’s Interview Before the Premiere

(Sept 22, 2010) Casey revealing the full story of the movie

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Did I believe in the documentary?

As for me I believed it was all real until I did all these background such. I was a little disappointed ot see Joachim being such a douchebag and so immature in the documentary, so was quite relieve when saw him at Letterman after the Premiere.

Me naive? No optimistic!

I don’t think I am naive, like some of my friends say. I think I am an optimistic and now I love JoaquinPhoenix even more. But if he was the character he was playing, I would also love and try to be empathic. He gave me so much from The Village^^.

To people who think I am naive, I will just quote this great tumblr blog:

Have you ever noticed that although the formal definition of ‘naive’ is ‘showing a lack of experience or judgment’ it is not how it is really used? The meaning people typically attach to this word is ‘he thinks of people better than they deserve’. You’re naive to think that people don’t lie, you’re naive to think that people are good, you’re naive to think that people care about this… The word that was supposed to be used as a measure of one’s experience has turned into a way to express a core belief that one is not experienced until he understands that the world is inherently ugly. Well, I am naive then. I know how ugly life can be made by people. But I still know that there’s more to this life than ugliness, despair and dull existence with no purpose. In fact, life is anything but these things.

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